tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57109435847353965132011-04-21T20:28:17.391-07:00-H.E. Review Teamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10099920513296826578noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5710943584735396513.post-23563775991608238812008-12-30T09:58:00.000-08:002008-12-30T09:59:38.967-08:00Don’t Take My Sunshine<br />Written by: happilyinsane13<br />Reviewer: D. Fizzle<br /><br />Title: 8/10<br />-I thought it was a wonderful title that fit perfectly. It didn’t give anything away and created a very sweet feel to your story. On the bad side, I don’t think the title would have captured me in.<br /><br />Plot: 9.5/10<br />-I loved your plot. It wasn’t like the ordinary cliché romantic stories. It felt simple and short, but at the same time more complicated than its outer surface. I did not expect what came in chapter six. You were able to confuse and surprise readers, making your story all the more enjoyable. Your ending left me feeling good and without saying much to it either. You were able to put a great meaning into the last few words of the fanfic.<br /><br />Flow: 8/10<br />-Your flow was great! Considering you only had nine chapters, it didn’t feel rushed at all. The only thing I found a bit slow was from around chapters’ two to four, but even then, it was still quite enjoyable. Your beginning was eventful and your climax wasn’t dragged.<br /><br />Foreword: 4/10<br />-In your foreword you wrote, “Hard to explain” which I think is a big turnoff. You started with a one sentence summary of your story, making it seem very boring. Perhaps you could’ve added more details and life to capture readers.<br /><br />Poster/Background: 6/10<br />-Your poster was somewhat capturing, that is, behind the people and the colorful text. Your poster seemed like it wanted to look serious but there were too many distractions. The background of the poster did fit the setting of your story though. Your background color was bright, creating a contrast with the bright red text, but every time Kyuhyun and his penguin appeared, the letters were hard to read.<br /><br />Originality/Creativity: 8/10<br />-I think the overall story was very creative, but there were some details involving their romantic relationship that I found a little unoriginal.<br /><br />Character Development: 9/10<br />-Kyuhyun started off depressed and angry. He was even suicidal. As the story moved on you were able to change his point of view without making it too dramatic and unrealistic. The flow of his character change came in small steps that were able to change him in big ways.<br />-There was also a character and character development between Kyuhyun and Blaire. If you were to think about it, it would seem unrealistic for two strangers to become so close so quickly, but the way you wrote made it fit.<br /><br />Writing Style: 8/10<br />-Your writing style was easy to read and didn’t vary as your story progressed. If anything, I’d say you should get rid of your little “designs” (e.g.,*~*~*) that cut off the scene.<br /><br />Spelling/Punctuation: 7/10<br />-You had a few run-on sentences and words that connected that shouldn’t (e.g., everyday). You had a few punctuation and spelling errors but nothing major. I’d suggest a quick double check once in a while.<br /><br />Overall Enjoyment: 9.5/10<br />-Overall, I enjoyed this story a lot. I’m glad that I did this review or else I would’ve missed an amazing story! v(^_-)v<br /><br />Total Grade: 77/100<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5710943584735396513-2356377599160823881?l=he-reviews.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>-H.E. Review Teamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10099920513296826578noreply@blogger.com0